-
Is it autistic to overtext?
I used to send massive long texts like an email to people. Until I realized it’s way too much when the recipient stopped replying and I thought it was rude of them to not see how much effort I put in the text.
Then I read my sister’s texts (w her permission), and it was just logistical stuff.
Most recently, I sent a long text to my friend on why she needs to get her kid assessed for ADHD/autism. And her reply was “okay, I’ll think about it.” I mean it’s probably a long conversation you should have on the phone or in person but we text regularly and I thought it was okay.
Also, texting is a women thing I find. Men don’t do text in general outside of making plans.
What do you guys expect out of texting as part of your relationship maintenance?
Do you use texting as a way to maintain friends/family?
Do you get your feelings hurt when people don’t text back with the same thoughtfulness you put in? Possibly an oversensitivity
Maybe what I’m asking is I don’t understand what part of my texting habit is autistic and annoying.
-
6 Replies
-
I find there are two categories of long texts – one is when an introverted (and possibly autistic) person wants to share a complete thought, without the hassle of going through small talk first. I am definitely one of those. The other is when a somewhat extraverted but socially clueless person (so probably autistic?) wants to force a topic or force closeness with somebody who is not interested. I’ve definitely been guilty of responding monosyllabically or not responding at all in those situations. I’m sorry if people get hurt when I avoid answering, but if I’ve already explicitly said or wrote, sometimes several times, that I’m not interested in whatever they want to share, then it’s on them.
Long texts can be appropriate, it depends on the person you text with. With some people it is ok to engage in meaningful conversation via text, but in order to find out who they are we need to accept the risk that our long texts will be too much for some and that to them we’ll come accross as annoying and preachy.
-
I hate texting in general, so I usually only text about logistical stuff.
I send “Love you!” texts to my aunt, but only because I REALLY love her and I know she cares about that stuff. And I keep it short even then.
I hate reading long texts myself (usually it means someone’s telling you something you won’t wanna hear) so I don’t send any.
Oh. How autistic of me to not answer your actual question, Ru. 😛 What’s autistic about sending long texts is not understanding that 99% of people hate reading. This also applies to emails. Don’t send long emails, MAYBE unless the person is an INTP/ENTP personality type.
-
Omg, minami that’s so true what you are saying. i am an intp so i love reading long texts thinking people pour over their thoughts as much as i do. so i over-expect a reciprocation in that area.
okay, i have to put this up in a stickie on my phone. most people do not like long texts. they are not intps. haha. and texting is not the writing class. words are my special interest and not most people in my day to day who just want a hello and check-in.
thank you @minami !
tbh, i’ve cut down this response 5 times and spent 20 minutes typing it out so I sound less wordy.
-
Haha I’m glad that was helpful!
-
-
-
I send both kinds — long and short. It depends. I’m an ENTJ.
Part of my style is dependent on receiver. Almost all of my friends/family texts. For some it’s their preference.
I will share that I was over the moon that I can now edit texts on iPhone after sending. Even short ones. I’m a huge grammar hound and also become anxious with typos as well. ☺️
-
Yes. I think both a dearth of texting or long narratives of texting are autistic. They’re both totally out of touch for what is appropriate in the situation.
I think neurotypicals are more inclined to just call when they have a lot to share. Autistic people are generally more comfortable with writing out their thoughts and also tend to hyperfocus and lose touch with reality/context/proportionality of things -an executive function issue.